Is this the year?

I long to have my body back to the point it was between my two sets of kids. I had lost 20 pounds, plus i worked out and I'd have to say I looked pretty good! I know that was almost 10 years ago, now, and my body most likely not get there, but I still want it. Now we're looking at at LEAST 40 pounds.

The past few years I think, "Oh this summer I'll finally be thin", only to have the months fade away, and I'm still not where I want to be. my baby will be 7 in May, so its hard to blame it on that!

The hard part is that I love to eat. I can exercise pretty consistently, but i just sabotage it with my food. It's like my body knows that there is going to be some sort of change soon, and I go into food mode and eat more, even stuff i wouldn't normally eat.

I have given up soda for now, but even once in a while i "fall off the wagon" on that. Plus, i think that i am substituting with other foods. Anyway, why is it such a battle?

I was ready to sign up for this class at Anytime Fitness that met 2x a week with weight and fat% check-ins for the next 3 months. Normally I wouldn't consider spending the $$, but I decided this would be a good birthday present and worked out the details. now they've changed the class to 1x a week, and I'm concerned that it wont be enough - ugh. I hate it when you've got something all worked out and then the rug gets pulled out. I totally know that God works everything out for good, so i understand that this is one of those occasions that I'll just have to trust him.

If only i could REALLY trust him with my food in-take, then maybe this really will be the year.

I'm a native Minnesotan, so the weather in general doesn't get me "riled up". But, I am tired of the COLD this season. Mostly because even though we live within two blocks of the school, I am forced to make a decision whether or not I need to drive my kids to school. I RARELY got a ride to school growing up (and, no, I didn't walk up hill, both ways, barefoot). Even my older two boys rarely got rides to school. But for some reason this year, the younger two boys have "lucked out" and gotten rides almost everyday this new year. There are also 200 other parents doing the same thing for their kids so traffic is always fun dropping off at the school. I have held my ground, though, and have made walk home most everyday.

Can't wait until the warm up.

I decided not to do Tuesday Morning Bible Study this Winter/Spring. Where it has been something that is just a given, I feel like its not something I HAVE to do. So, this morning, instead, I volunteered at the school library. I have been doing that most Friday afternoons - helping shelve books, check in and out books for students. Today was fun, because it was very busy. I learned a lot and i LOVED it. Who knew that being a LIBRARIAN could be fun??????

Discontent

I find it interesting that once you get a feeling of discontentment with a job, problems and issues seems to multiply. I am an independent contractor for a major bookseller, serving as a customer service agent out of my home. For the most part I've really enjoyed it, been doing it for a little over a year. But alas, it gets old, and i feel limited on what i can do. Why does it seem to compound, and in such a short time? I can't wait to be done, and I dread working. But I know i need to be patient and wait until the next opportunity.

Then there is an element of excitement for something new, along with the fear of something new.

Its hard to know what's the right thing for me. I know God has it in His hands and need to trust in His wisdom.

*Sigh*

Pizza - its Friday night - great pizza night- Eli's not here, so we aren't limited to just cheese pizza. Yay! So, i sit here - scouring my coupons for the best deal on a great pizza. It's already 6pm - so its going to be late by the time i actually decide. Scott's not home yet, so i guess i have time. TGIF!

i'm going to try quick blog posts.

Its "Chirstmastime"

Yay, I'm ready!

I'm going to make cookies and decorate, and I'm excited about it!

This is the first year in a while that I have acutally been "excited" about getting ready for christmas and enjoying the process.

The boys are excited about decorating the FREE tree we got today (Thanks to my mom's Realtor). They are at the monster truck rally tonight, so i'm going to get the house in order and maybe get a couple of batches done.

Ah....let the season begin.